Dreams...

I want to...

create something so beautiful it takes my breath away. My sister did this. So did my best friend.
As I watch them with their husbands I have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for their happiness. And I want it too. Not now. Maybe not even soon. But the love they have for each other is absolutely infectious. For how much I love them and value thier worth to me, their husbands amplify that by millions.
They take each other for everything. The weirdness, the beauty and everything else.

It's magical.

and this young love turns into something enchanting, old love.

I see this in my parents.
I said a prayer today only about them. I'm full of thanks for the magic they create in my home as they continue to love each other. It's the thing I think I'm most grateful for in my life.

Some day, I'm going to make magic.

And now as I write this, I'm realizing how incredibly love sick I am. But this time it's different from all the many other love sick phases I have gone through. I don't just want (someday) someone to tell me how much they love me. I want the something more that has been showed to me lately.
The things that actually mean love. Like knowing silly things about how they like their toast, or when they need a joke rather than a hug. When it's time to be distracted from homework. Giving appreciative side glances and finding the good in the mistakes made.

This is just a bit of silliness in my head, but it means so much to me that these wonderful people would share what they have worked for and created with the world. I've never understood couples who don't feel the need to show the love they have for each other everywhere they go. How do they suppress something so wonderful. It should be bursting out of them, all of the time. At least I know I'm going to let it burst. So when it's the real thing, everyone who knows me will know it.

Mission Statement: a statement about a mission

Yesterday

marked

the

four month

mark

until.....

I can turn in mission papers...

So now the question is, will I?


*please, Mr. Answer, manifest yourself soon.

Somedays...

Somedays, when things are tough, I wish for a wise old man to stop me and give me some grand peice of advice. Like they do in my imagination, and the books I read.

The other day. I wished so hard for this. I felt like it was all I needed to get me through.
I drew it all up in my head. I would be walking along, reading my book. He would stop me and say, "you seem to be a special person in a tough spot." and I would reply "who me? How did you know?" "It's just something that comes with the job of being old, and wise. Now go ahead and tell me about it."

I would. I would tell him everything.
Then he would give me the most brilliant peice of advice, that at first I would brush off as meaningless. Until I thought about it again and realiz exactly what he meant and what I would need to do. Then I would fix everything with his advice.
That's how it would happen.

I was waiting all day for him.

just as I was walking to my car from school he came...strolling towards me.

and it didn't happen just as I planned

but it did happen perfectly.


He said nothing to me.
Just as he was passing me he held my gaze and smiled.
And that's all I needed.
Thank you old wise man.

You've done your duty in your own wise way.

Caught in the middle of something good

This is to you my blog,

Right now life is weird. But then again isn't it always. No matter what normal doesn't happen...ever. So why is it even a word.

This really isn't much too read or even worth time of anyone but me. But sometimes I just gotta write things down to try to make sense of myself. Organize the noggin a bit ya know?

I've found a new philosophy about life lately.

When you want one thing, that's when another is thrown at you. And I do mean to use the word thrown, because it perfectly describes what happens. Not delicately tossed, not nicely placed in your lap, thrown.

Lately I can't
*speak clear sentences
*form a though intelligent enough to say in class
*eat normally
*grasp the concept of time
*flirt with boys
*control my emotions
*keep my phone charged
*peal an orange like I like
*realize when I need to go to the bathroom (what?)



CONFUSED.

This is how I describe myself right now. Someone grabbed the pieces of my life and threw them up in the air and I have to retrieve them...? Because apart from school, which I'm still trying to not be intimidated by, I don't know anything else about my life.

But I guess that's why I say Caught in the middle of something good. Because I have this sense of something more lately. Like altough this is weird and rough and whatever, that I'm gonna learn something great from it.

So.......

When I get more me again...I'll let you know.

But until then blog, please try to put up with my un-me-ness.

I say yes, how could you not?

This is what is currently on my mind and will also hopefully be whipped up and in my tummy soon.

Key Lime Meltaways

and

Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake


feel free to hop on over and eat them with me.

A Christmas miracle!

THIS little thing wasn't supposed to come for Christmas this year because he get's so sick going on planes and his dad is getting ready to take the law bars soon. You cannot even imagine the disappointment that was cloaked over the once high Christmas spirit and excitement that was already in me. Christmas slash the Holidays are just not the same without the whole family together. BBBUTTTT on Friday we got a HUGE surprise when low and behold he shows up at our house. Bean can definitely classify in the CHRISTMAS MIRACLE category this year!

And while we are on the subject of really cute things that make us happy, him along with my other nephew Daniel are two things I know I'll never be able to get enough of.

I think that Chicago coined it so perfectly when they said, "you bring meaning to my life, you're the inspiration".....exactly what I am feeling about these boys.
















pictures taken from these lovely blogs

Once was love

Once I was one and lonely.
Then I was two and a friend came along, her name was Lauren.
We were meant to be bosom friends.
My name was supposed to be Chloe...that was the name of her pet pug.
She looked like a girl...my name was Bryan, I looked like a boy.
I taught her to be feisty, she taught me to be sassy.
She taught me how to roller blade, I told her to part her hair on the side and not the middle.
We were together for everything.

My best friend get's married tomorrow. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself, but most of the time I'm just grateful I get to be apart of things like this and see her so happy. Whether he likes it or not Devin is gaining another girl in his life besides Laur. But I think he likes it. And I like him.
They're perfect for each other.
They're the perfect couple.
I love them.

Sometimes I cry when I think about her getting married.
If you see me tomorrow I'll probably be doing just that.
But good thing we know they are happy tears.

Good luck tomorrow Laur. I hope everything is perfect because you deserve nothing less.

ya fam!

I found this and thought it was something lovely...

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. ~ Bowring

Aren't you just so grateful for the things that make you happy in life. Family is one of them for me. We're just an odd band of people who shoot each other with nerf guns, make each other laugh and cry, give and receive the worst types of teasing, are happy for others successes and don't mind stealing the last dessert. We know how to bring each other down the hardest but also lift to the highest. We would give our lives for each other yet too often take each other for granted. We share toothpaste, laughs, socks, homes, secrets, sadness's, inside jokes and food. For all the bads that come with us there are a million billion other amazing and heart lifting goods.
I'm so glad to have family and everything that comes in that category, cousins, sisters, brothers, parents, nephews, nieces (hopefully some day) sister-in-laws, brother in law (more someday), friends who are called family just the same, aunts, uncles, G-ma's, grandpas....extraordinary people who were each placed in a spot on our family trees to contribute and make life that much better with God given individual talents. Sometimes they touch on our lives in the most odd ways, but they make us better and we do the same for them.
Where can be a better place but in the presence of family?

Brown to the Bonnett attack!

Uneven things...

do they really bother you too?

The Egg and I by Betty MacDonald

". . .I realized why it is so much easier for a man to adjust himself to new surroundings and people than for a woman. Men are so much less demanding in friendship. A woman wants her friends to be perfect. She sets a pattern, usually a reasonable facsimile of herself, lays a friend out on this pattern and worries and prods at any little qualities which do not coincide with her own image. She simply won't be bothered with anything less than ninety per cent congruity, and will accept the ninety per cent only if the other ten per cent is shaping up nicely and promises accurate conformity within a short time. Friends with glaring lumps or unsmoothable rough places are cast off like ill-fitting garments, and even if this means that the woman has no friends at all, she seems happier than with some imperfect being for whom she would have to make allowances.

A man has a friend, period. He acquires this particular friend because they both like to hunt ducks. The fact that the friend discourses entirely in four-letter words, very seldom washes, chews tobacco and spits and random, is drunk a good deal of the time and hates women, in no way affects the friendship. If the man notices these flaws in the perfection of his friend, he notices them casually as he does his friend's height, the color of his eyes, the width of his shoulders; and the friendship continues at an even temperature for years and years and years."

sooooo much truth, it's killing me

not only do I love this book and this writer because she is real and honest, but also because she can be asolutely hilarious when writing about things that were really hard for her.

and.... she wrote some books that were part of my favorite list as a child... Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle anyone??

b day my b day

waffle ice cream breakfast
pedicure with the sisters
a movie I loved (surprising)
treats
Reagsters (surprised)
a nephew
a visit from a poodle (even more surprising)
the said nephew and poodle
dance party
wonderful wonderful wonderful friends
cake
some very kickin' spandex
more cake
nice notes
a friendship's new beginning
two emails from missionaries
almost my whole family
not one but two packages from my roommate KK
visits from unexpected(s)
Ingrid Michaelson tickets (thank you Lauren!)
peaches and home-drawn pictures
a homemade shirt that is brilliant!
a mother
a father feeling better
heartfelt texts and calls

A big thanks to all who contributed to it...it was wonderful.

Some day I will.....

Japan, California, South Korea and Denmark

The 4 locations of Musical Roads

It's only all I've ever wanted....

Thought for Reagan, a sister in want....

Ari, in reference to this post you did, I would like to tell you that it's not as impossible as it seems.

1. Red Lipstick, if I can do it, you can do it....
(oh ya and check out this amazing night Jo did for us, hence the occasion to wear red lipstick, you'll love it)

2. You've already proven you can do this one. What is up with saying you cant?!

3. We all know you've pulled that one off before. And might I say you did so in quite a classy manner.

4. I've still got those purple high heels in the closet you bought and wore once upon a time.

Mother Teresa

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.”

(something I hope to live by this next semester...)

I need something magic

to happen...







to me.

Florence Nightingale

"Were there none who were discontented with what they have, the world would never reach anything better."

Not only is her name absolutely poetic, but she is too.

And now we have our own little Flora in the family....love her.

paRADe

Our awesome Relief Society from my singles ward participated in the parade for the Highland Fling on Sautrday....needless to say we were pretty awesome!

We had a SINGLE float....

"Single Ladies" was our main song

and THANKS to Brother Beal, we had a driver who wasn't ashamed to be support us in our great cause.

Eat your heart out...

I know I did...

Plans For a Wednesday Night....

First I plan on watching this girl...

and this boy....

fall madly in love.
THEN....

amuse myself with this activity....

THEN...

eat a whole box of these...
(note the no sugar added, these are the little loopholes I love!)

THEN...

play a little speed on the b-ball court with my peeps...
come on over!

Dalai THE llama

ONCE UPON A TIME I met a llama....and I liked it!
You can see this was no ordinary llama, this was a special llama.
It all started when my family took a Sunday stroll to collect eggs from a vacationing neighbors' house. After a struggle with some obstinate mother chickens and an escapee from the coop, my mother thought it would be a fine idea for everyone to meet the "llama with personality".
I said (quite naively) "llama with personality? right!"
she said (quite boldly) "yes, a llama with a personality".
and that is exactly what it was.
His name is Dalai.
He is my friend.
I think about him every day.
I love him.

But....this love could not be hidden, it needed to be shared with anyone that would listen to me. So I brought a couple friends...

Animal lovers....

and haters alike revere and appreciate this Dalai, who is a llama, very very much.

Stacy is "head over heels" for this little guy

and so is everyone else that has met him....
come stop by for a visit and the best first impression from an animal you've ever had.
I'll see you soon?