Murder Mystery Dinner...

Our hosts, Holly and Fred

See all the awards around our necks. Everyone's is the real deal except for mine.
Sam: Best dressed
Reagy: Best actress
and for the shocker
Dylan: Best actor (say what!)
I was very proud to say the least

Jenny and Johnny....and yes, that gold chain Dylan is wearing is from my grandmothers jewlrey collection. How did you know? (sorry grandma, Dylan sports it the best.)

and did I mention the house the party was held at? It was everything and more, the library was heavenly to say the least. I imagine myself spending my summer mornings there.
(sorry I am an accessory to this picture, it's much better without)

Dylan Clarinet McKinnon

at this moment I am reveling in the music my husband is producing. Anyone know that Dylan could play the clarinet? I hardly did either. I snuck a couple pictures of him and when he caught me he pouted. I'm loving this whole marriage thing. Especially the parts when I discover new things that I married, like clarinets...(and pouting).

Dialogue of Dylan and me the other day while driving to school...
(side-note, Dylan has been really excited about the radio station 101.9 lately, because it plays all the music that used to be popular when we were young.)

A song on the radio comes on that I would deem a little to hard for my taste.

D: "oh wow, this is crazy!"
B: "what song is this??"
D:"don't you remember this song? It was like the biggest thing in sixth grade" (another side-note, we lived on completely different continents in sixth grade).
B:"I don't think I ever listened to music like this."
D:"really? everyone knew this song." then he pulls out a fact from his vast reserve of music knowledge "I would have to say this song is probably the forerunner to all screamo music."
B:"oh really"
D: "ya, it's Papa Roach"
....
D:quietly singing along to himself, and knowing ALL the words
then all of the sudden I recognize it and sing out loud
B:"SUFFOCATION NO BREATHING!"
what!? where did that come from. Thankfully those were the only words that I knew. The whole song is about suicide...what in the world?!?

And now I want to know what other kinds of music worked it's way into my small eleven year old self without me knowing it!

Please someone tell me if you remember this song too. Or if it's just weird Dylan and I who in some weird trick oddly know this awful awful song...

{and can we take a small moment and notice how cute he is?}

Yesterday, oh yesterday...

Yesterday would've been the day my parents dropped me off at the MTC...

but instead I spent the evening stuffing wedding announcements into envelopes!

Here are some of the ways people have put my switch in life into words....

" you're still going on a mission,
just a different kind"

"if you're going for easier I would've
stuck with the one that only
lasts a year and a half"

"Dylan is your mission now"

"oh man, you think the mission you were
going to go on is hard, just you wait!"

and my personal favorite by best friend Lauren....

"you're going to make babies instead of converts"

....my intentions exactly.

that poor person

I feel bad for whoever thought up story problems. They probably thought it was a great idea so people would like math more, because they could apply it to everyday life. Oh boy, they were wrong. And that is why I feel bad for_______, for creating the story problem. What a bummer way to go down.

England, a month with the McKinnons

oh and did I mention the best person in the whole (picture below with some girl). June 22, head off to Denver, then Toronto and finally ending up in London England June 23.




uhhhh....ya
I started this post at least a month ago. What was I thinking doing a day by day for a whole month in one sitting. Impossible! But then again that is typical of me. I feel like a super hero on a day to day basis, thinking I can tackle anything. As you can guess I usually disappoint myself. But on a happier note of the same subject, my self-esteem has not suffered because of it. So, because I have now (probably a month and a half later) realized that blogging about a whole month after the fact is not something my patience or personality is up to, I will default to posting the highlights and a few pictures out of the billion taken and try to aid you in understanding what an amazing and nearly indescribable trip I took.
HIGHLIGHTS

• plane rides. I LOVE riding on planes because that means I'm traveling!
• going to touristy places and people watching to the max
• spending an entire month with the greatest boy imaginable and knowing that saying goodnight only meant "see ya first thing when we wake up".
• beauty EVERYWHERE. especially the architecture. Everything in England is a gazillion years old, so it all looks cool.
• Getting proposed to at Hampton Court Palace. what?! who get's to even be in England and get proposed to at the same time? That moment in time was real life magic. I'll get off on a tangent for a second. But seriously. I think that there are certain circumstances that can be created that will make magic no matter what and this is one of them.

Recipe:
1 handsome wonderful boy.1 girl who is in love with said boy
Reciprocated feelings
A palace on the Tames
Promises
A ring
A million happy thoughts of the future
a little side-note: to make the experience even more magical for the girl and maybe a little less for the boy add 70% nervousness on the boys part. He's cuter that way

....now back to the bullets

• seeing more castles then you even knew existed.
  
• finding inspiration for my wedding dress at a Saturday market
• being blissfully happy for one month straight
• Wimbledon!
  
• Scotland!
• trying to read Welsh...impossible
• and being at a place in my life where everything is good and right. That is such a huge blessing!
  

*collages seemed to be my best bet

This just kills me...

LIFE: taking a turn

A late discovery of Bryan Brown: Life is the most wily double-dealing friend to own....and I like it.
It seems to me that when one tries to take life into one's own hands, life wriggles free and throws you in an opposite direction. Vague I know. But that is what I'm having to be lately. Super vague. Currently life is taking me on a roller coaster, and although at times I feel sea sick with the inconsistency of it all, I come down from every day thanking my Heavenly Father for how blessed I've been, and wonder at how it could get any better. After a week of wondering, even with my imagination, I can't seem to conjure up a better life right now.

Actually no, I don't want to be vague and uninformative about my life. Since I know that about me and maybe Stacy read this blog consistently, I can say what I like. This is my world. Silly, I forget sometimes.

Why I'm so blessed.

One word.

Well one person...

Dylan.

If you ever find a Dylan, hold tight, squeeze as tight as you can if you have to and don't let go. Dylans are the kinds that you gotta keep, cause really nothing is better than a Dylan. Dylans are worth it all. I'm staying home from my mission so I can be with a Dylan forever. I like to make my Dylan think I'm making this big sacrifice for him, but secretly I think he knows how much of a better gig I am getting with him. Dylans are the really really sweet kind of people, and that's a good thing to have around. But the even better part of Dylans is that they are silly. Not the kind of silly that you see and it makes you wanna throw up and then grow up. It's that kind of silly that you see and feel too mature. It makes you a kid again. Dyalns are sneaky. They act shy, but that's only a facade for your benefit, because they save the really fun side of themselves for you and some other select few they really like. Another reason you'll really want a Dylan is for his family. It's crazy when you're lucky enough to get a Dylan. First, you think WOW! I get a Dylan? life could not get any luckier.... and then you meet his family and a whole new world of luckiness is opened to you. Yes, it's true Dylans are the best kind to have. I'm glad everyone could be enlightened on the subject.

current status of me... "out of one's tree"

Going C.R.A.Z.Y

Whilst I wait for the 9:00 hour to arrive I have been doing various things all day to try to keep myself busy...

A list will do.

*Wake up WAY too early, because I wasn't sleeping anyway
*bug the post office man to give me "the call" early when I can't even open it for another 13.5 hours
*Make the house spotless and my mother happy
*Bake cookies
*Buy cookies and eat them
*Mall (blah, why did I even test that as an option)
*Single woman dance party <-----probably the best decision I've made today
*Visit sister at work and eat her givings
*Movie (Elvis and Anabelle, anyone seen it?)
*text and talk to A LOT of people. A LOT. A LOT.
*watch the clock desperately
*Puzzle of a scout camp?
*Think about how all this waiting is really going to effect my mental well-being (seriously worried)
*sit and stare (oh ya that's a good one..)
*steamed open various other letters to satisfy the urge to do the same a one particular letter

...and so so so much more! So how is it only 5:00??!?!??

But please take comfort in the fact that I haven't dropped dead quite yet....really I'll be fine...I swear

TIME, PLEASE LIFT YOUR WINGS TO THIS TREACHEROUS WIND WE HAVE OUTSIDE AND FLY! FLY! FLY! I'll even give you a boost if you'd like!

Leggi Blonde

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LE-LEIGH!!!!


Today this wonder of a woman had a birthday.

On EARTH DAY.

She was meant for the earth and the earth her.

They are quite good friends

She wanted a rainy/stormy day for her birthday....

What an incredibly weird but most awesome sister I have.

I love birthdays, because we are able to set aside time and celebrate the people who really mean a lot to us. And Leigh means a WHOLE LOT to me. Believe me, if you had one of her, you'd wonder how everyone who doesn't gets through life. Thanks for the 20 years you've spent with me Leigh. I love you so much!

(plus can we take a moment and awe over how intense she looks in that picture....wow...)

Sweatshirts, Blankets and Robes

I love them...

They wrap you up all nice and warm...

They make you feel comfortable...

And they tell you everything is going to be alright...

(technically not the last one, but it definitely feels that way.)

{and if I ever had a snuggie, I'm sure it would fit into this category too}

I don't mean to be frank...

I WAS HUNGRY...

I found a stale peice of bread....

and I ate it....


{there is nothing like a stale peice of bread to curb your appetite...}

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!!!!
SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO PUMPED!

My dad... (Isn't he just a gem?)


just informed me...
THAT I CAN TURN MY MISSION PAPERS IN 120 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY NOW! (Instead of the previous 100 days)

APRIL 26th HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*From now until I get my call you can expect (just to name a few) the following from me, distractedness, jittery movements, much more frequent squeals and arm squeezes, higher energy, the humming of victorious music, arm pumping, good game pats, and a whole lot of impatient waiting!

A small thought I had today...

Why can't life be a bit more like a strawberry?

Life Lesson

I'm learning an important life lesson right now. It's something I hope will become incorporated in me, instead of realizing it but never applying.

It's simple but profound to me:

The trial isn't the thing that should be considered in great depth, it's the people who are there for you when you go through it.

This means a great deal to me. I get so caught up in myself and how hard things can be, when I've never had to do this alone. I have an abundance of people who care about my well being. People think that to be happy things need to be going well in life, but happiness doesn't come that way. It comes from relationships and caring and love.

So Bryan, stop being so selfish!

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

I've always loved this holiday...ALWAYS.
I look forward to it every year. For some reason this day always brings about something good, a turn of events or just pure happiness. These are a few reasons why I loved today already.

• my dad without reminder put on green pants this morning
• just adding to the wonderful weather, the excessive green I saw on campus made spring even that much more tangible
  
• I learned just recently that the Chicago river is dyed bright green every year...

(I vow to be in Chicago at least once when this happens)

• I pinched two people today (just about the right amount to feel like you support the holiday but not abuse it)
• my mom woke up this morning wearing a great green long sleeved shirt not on purpose...
• and...I got in trouble in Spanish today for making the girl next to me squeal as I pinched her, making me feel like I was in 2nd grade again....
  

I hope you all enjoyed this holiday as much as I did!
(the blue is due to the fact that it originally was the colour associated with Saint Patrick.
Just one of those very important facts that you should know offhand)

This is beautiful

I want this to be my theme song. I don't
know French and I definitely don't know what it is about, but it's beautiful and it makes me happy and I love it.

Feelings...

Today I am grateful for feelings.

I love to feel things. Sometimes when a few moments are spared to me in between life I like to sit outside and soak it all in.
Although my feelings make me cry weekly, feel sadness and worry often, they counter it 100 times over with happy spells that leave me smiling for days and strong attachments to people.

And then I feel so sad for the people who don't feel.

There is a show I sometimes like to watch called Criminal Minds. Those people don't feel, no hardly at all. I'm glad I'm not a maniac or a compulsive killer.

Dreams...

I want to...

create something so beautiful it takes my breath away. My sister did this. So did my best friend.
As I watch them with their husbands I have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for their happiness. And I want it too. Not now. Maybe not even soon. But the love they have for each other is absolutely infectious. For how much I love them and value thier worth to me, their husbands amplify that by millions.
They take each other for everything. The weirdness, the beauty and everything else.

It's magical.

and this young love turns into something enchanting, old love.

I see this in my parents.
I said a prayer today only about them. I'm full of thanks for the magic they create in my home as they continue to love each other. It's the thing I think I'm most grateful for in my life.

Some day, I'm going to make magic.

And now as I write this, I'm realizing how incredibly love sick I am. But this time it's different from all the many other love sick phases I have gone through. I don't just want (someday) someone to tell me how much they love me. I want the something more that has been showed to me lately.
The things that actually mean love. Like knowing silly things about how they like their toast, or when they need a joke rather than a hug. When it's time to be distracted from homework. Giving appreciative side glances and finding the good in the mistakes made.

This is just a bit of silliness in my head, but it means so much to me that these wonderful people would share what they have worked for and created with the world. I've never understood couples who don't feel the need to show the love they have for each other everywhere they go. How do they suppress something so wonderful. It should be bursting out of them, all of the time. At least I know I'm going to let it burst. So when it's the real thing, everyone who knows me will know it.

Mission Statement: a statement about a mission

Yesterday

marked

the

four month

mark

until.....

I can turn in mission papers...

So now the question is, will I?


*please, Mr. Answer, manifest yourself soon.

Somedays...

Somedays, when things are tough, I wish for a wise old man to stop me and give me some grand piece of advice. Like they do in my imagination, and the books I read.

The other day. I wished so hard for this. I felt like it was all I needed to get me through.
I drew it all up in my head. I would be walking along, reading my book. He would stop me and say, "you seem to be a special person in a tough spot." and I would reply "who me? How did you know?" "It's just something that comes with the job of being old, and wise. Now go ahead and tell me about it."

I would. I would tell him everything.
Then he would give me the most brilliant piece of advice, that at first I would brush off as meaningless. Until I thought about it again and realize exactly what he meant and what I would need to do. Then I would fix everything with his advice.
That's how it would happen.

I was waiting all day for him.

just as I was walking to my car from school he came...strolling towards me.

and it didn't happen just as I planned

but it did happen perfectly.


He said nothing to me.
Just as he was passing me he held my gaze and smiled.
And that's all I needed.
Thank you old wise man.

You've done your duty in your own wise way.

Caught in the middle of something good

This is to you my blog,

Right now life is weird. But then again isn't it always. No matter what normal doesn't happen...ever. So why is it even a word.

This really isn't much too read or even worth time of anyone but me. But sometimes I just gotta write things down to try to make sense of myself. Organize the noggin a bit ya know?

I've found a new philosophy about life lately.

When you want one thing, that's when another is thrown at you. And I do mean to use the word thrown, because it perfectly describes what happens. Not delicately tossed, not nicely placed in your lap, thrown.

Lately I can't
*speak clear sentences
*form a though intelligent enough to say in class
*eat normally
*grasp the concept of time
*flirt with boys
*control my emotions
*keep my phone charged
*peal an orange like I like
*realize when I need to go to the bathroom (what?)



CONFUSED.

This is how I describe myself right now. Someone grabbed the pieces of my life and threw them up in the air and I have to retrieve them...? Because apart from school, which I'm still trying to not be intimidated by, I don't know anything else about my life.

But I guess that's why I say Caught in the middle of something good. Because I have this sense of something more lately. Like altough this is weird and rough and whatever, that I'm gonna learn something great from it.

So.......

When I get more me again...I'll let you know.

But until then blog, please try to put up with my un-me-ness.